"That's not good."

Pardon my undying (even in the face of incredible un-funnyness) love for the pun. Mr. Man and I had an insanely shitty day today. Literally.

It started first thing this morning with the toilet backing up on Mr. Man. Yuck!

Then, I took the dog out to poop and there was a hole in the bag and I didn't see it before I stuck my thumb in dog doo. Dammit!

Then, I got to hang out and watch our douche bag of a landlord plunge the toilet. He was all dressed up (in black slacks, a black mock turtleneck and dark green sports coat) and he didn't even take his jacket off to plunge so that made it kind of funny but it doesn't make up for the fact that he's a douche and anyway, it didn't work.

I should mention that the kitchen sink is draining slow and the pipe outside, that all of our wastewater clearly flows out (it's directly below and outside of the bathroom) was leaking, and Mr. Man had called our douchebag landlord and told him about it, and he didn't believe him (and blew me off when I brought it up, plunger in hand, today).

Anyway, he called a plumber and took off, and when the guy (who was a cute kid, actually, and btw Mr. Man, I forgot to tell you that he loved Bitsy) finally showed up, he looked around and when I told him about the pipe outside, he of course wanted to check it out, so after showing him our poop-filled toilet, I led him through our embarrassingly messy boudoir, and sent him out the window and down the fire escape, which is the only route to the backyard (yay row houses!)

I sat in the windowsill and smoked a cigarette and watched him. He started knocking off some of the insulation that is wrapped around the bottom 6 ft or so of the ancient pipe, and when he did, almost immediately, the pipe sprung leaks that shot straight out from it, and the poor guy had to run for fucking cover.

"That's not good."

"No shit." (again, I apologize)

So, tomorow'll be another shitty morning with the landlord and because he thought the kid's estimate was too high (easy to think when you're not the one having to get creative about finding places to poo) another plumber. We're thinking that now that we got ourselves a Hummer, we oughta just spring for one of those fancy condos (wink).

Know what else is shitty? Madonna's new video. I haven't listened to or followed Madonna in a long time, but I was excited about this video because she was supposedly going to "save the world in 4 minutes." Save the world my ass--what is that shit.

omg I almost forgot to mention the last poop story of the day--what a crazy shitty day--you kind of have to laugh and wonder what the fuck the universe is trying to tell you. I met Mr. Man this evening at the opening night of the Transmodern Festival, and in the middle of some experimental theatre that frankly went on a little way too long, one of the characters was a turd. Seriously. WTF?