So, if you've asked me or Mr. Man since we've moved how we're liking the Charm, we've undoubtedly answered "we really need a car" (although surprisingly, I haven't whined about it at all here). Public transport in Baltimore not being what it is in New York, and living across town from our few friends, is tough! Even tougher, poor Mr. Man's 15 or 20 mile commute to school has, on occasion, taken him as long as 2 hrs--one way.
So I'm sure you'll all be glad to hear that we finally got a car.
Isn't it awesome looking? I know what you're thinking: "no way they got a Hummer." But some poor sucker got it repossessed, so we got a really sweet deal on it! Plus, I combined the loan with my existing student debt, so I now owe Sallie Mae close to a million dollars, but I should be able to get everything paid off by the time I retire. Anyway, it's worth it. Even if gas is already up past $3/gallon.
I just feel so...safe when I'm driving around in that sucker. And HOT! Everyone knows that high femmes are even more sexy and femme (but also a little tough, which multiplies the sexy factor exponentially) when they're behind the wheel of a big rig. And nobody will ever doubt the hardcore masculinity of my Mr. Man when he's cruising around in it, either. It's testosterone on wheels, even if it is a fugly shade of yellow!
Besides, they're not all bad...now we can join with other socially-responsible Hummer drivers and save lives and stuff.
I know--SUVs are really bad. But get this: we're going to convert it to biodiesel. Everybody knows we're in the midst of an energy crisis--but that's why we're in Iraq, right? (How our oil got under their soil is the big question, but that's a whole nother blog post) Besides, we figured that if global warming really gets going the way they say it's going to, we don't have that much time left to live it up. The way I see it, it's every mouthy femme and trans man for themselves, so what the heck, you know?
No comments:
Post a Comment